Maybe Mum Patricia de Ryck is writing a column about how she experienced her thoughts when se was wondering whether motherhood is for her. For my column, I’ll take you back in time… I start when I was in my early twenties.
Mother-in-law
Me, a mother? I’ve never really thought about it. Until my mother-in-law asks, firmly adding, “Don’t you want them? Then you might as well end the relationship.”
Relationship doomed to fail
“At your age, you really need to discuss this. It’s a waste of time to invest in a relationship that’s doomed to fail. My son really wants children. You don’t? Don’t string him along, but give him – as difficult as it may be now, because right now you still see everything through rose-colored glasses – the space to find a girl who also wants to start a family.”
When we met…
My partner and I haven’t talked about children at all. When you meet in a bar, you talk about completely different things than a desire for children. We’re 22 and 23. Both at the beginning of our careers and we really want to enjoy life. When we daydream, it’s not about the image of a family with two kids and a dog, but about the thought of a distant, adventurous trip to New Zealand.
Maybe later
So the question catches me off guard, and I stutter, “Well, not now, I think. I still feel too young. Maybe later. But if we’re still together in a few years, I definitely wouldn’t rule it out…” At that moment, I’m only sure of one thing: my love for her son.
Jeopardize…
We’ve only been together for a few weeks; I’m convinced he’s my ‘true’ one. And believe me, over the years I’ve collected enough points of comparison to know that he has everything I’m looking for in a man. He looks good, he’s intelligent, and we can really talk about anything. Even the almost two hundred kilometers between our hometowns doesn’t stop us from being together every day. Am I really going to jeopardize that because, at 22, I’m still not sure if I want to be a mother or not?
- NEXT: “We need to talk about my desire to have children…”
- Overview of all the Maybe Mum columns by Patricia de Ryck
My English is not very good, so I’m translating this with the help of Google Translate and ChatGPT.