Maybe Mum

For all the Maybe Mums out there wondering whether motherhood is for them

‘What you don’t have, you don’t miss’ – Letter to the editor

‘What you don’t have, you don’t miss’ – Letter to the editor

I’ve received a lot of media attention in the Netherlands after the launch of TwijfelMoeder (alias Maybe Mum). That’s how I was interviewed for De Volkskrant; one of the major national newspapers in my country. The story has stirred a lot of emotions among people. One lady not only responded to the newspaper, but also to me. I’d like to share it with you all.


“I read with surprise that in our individualistic society, which is focused on making your own choices, the social pressure to have children is still as significant as it was some thirty years ago.”

Childfree by choice

“For clarification, I’ve chosen not to have them. During my fertile years, I often had to defend this choice. I was called selfish, opting for an easy life. Yes, so what! It’s my life, after all? Of course, children also bring a lot of joy, but the blissful state doesn’t last forever.

No regrets

I’ve never regretted my decision, especially when I see all those ‘happy parents’ struggling with their much-desired offspring. Even though they’re adults now, children often remain a source of concern, and parents continue to adjust their lives accordingly.

‘Freedom is a bliss’

Even now, in my mid-fifties, the lack of understanding persists. ‘Who will take care of you in the future?’ I have no idea, but I’ll sort that out when the time comes. I certainly don’t assume that I can rely on my children when I become dependent and then discover that they aren’t available. Freedom is a bliss, that’s my motto.

‘What you don’t have, you don’t miss’

I’ve been happily married for over 25 years and very content with my child-free existence. What you don’t have, you don’t miss.”

Photo Pexels: /foto/glimlachen-vasthouden-pratend-sprekend-7728933/ – pexels-greta-hoffman-7728933.jpg – My English is not very good, so I’m translating this with the help of Google Translate and ChatGPT.