Maybe Mum

For all the Maybe Mums out there wondering whether motherhood is for them

Sterilized at 29; I don’t want children

Sterilized at 29; I don’t want children

“At the age of 29, I made the choice to get sterilized,” writes a 31-year-old reader of my Dutch blog Twijfelmoeder. I may use her story on my site. She is very happy that attention is being paid to doubts about motherhood and the decision not to pursue motherhood in this way. Here’s her story.

Sterilized at 29

“I am 31 years old and made the decision to get sterilized 2 years ago. I am fortunate to have a partner who also has no desire for children. Many people think that not wanting children is directly related to not liking children. In my case, that’s not true, I really like children, they are honest, pure, and close to their nature… but our world turns these pure, sincere beings into automated, frustrated adults. I don’t have everything under control to ensure that my children can have a beautiful life, where they can follow their hearts.

Freedom is valuable

In addition, I also greatly value my own freedom. If this afternoon I decide that we want to go for a walk on the beach. We shouldn’t have to first consider that little one needs to sleep first. And that you have to bring along a whole migration of stuff because otherwise you’ll have a problem if there’s a poopy diaper situation. Or it will be a lot less enjoyable if the little one doesn’t get his bottle on time.

Children because it’s expected

It’s nice to read that there are several women who consciously consider whether or not to enter motherhood. Sometimes I also get the idea that people have children because it’s expected. They don’t want to be left behind in the friend group. We are lucky that our friends group never really bothers us with questions like: when are you going to start? This may also be because we have always been very clear about it. And luckily they are not afraid to ask if we want to babysit their children if they need to go out, because we are happy to do that too. We enjoy having them for 1 or two days and also enjoy it when they leave afterwards.


I certainly believe that motherhood is something valuable and that they are happy with it. But this doesn’t have to mean that it has to be the same for others. I sometimes find it sad to see that women hang their whole valuable lives on their children, losing sight of other valuable things. I understand very well that children come first. But even if you are a mother, don’t you still have things that make your heart beat faster? Don’t you still have hobbies, nice colleagues, an outing with the neighbors, or another activity that you can share your enthusiasm about?? Doesn’t it always have to be about poopy diapers, births, cracked nipples, and maternity clothes?

Not easy to tell your parents

I think it’s super cool that you have a website about it and will definitely continue to follow it, because I think it’s very important to raise more awareness. I am glad that I have always been open and honest, even though it was not always easy. Because it’s not nice to tell your parents that they will never be grandparents to your children…. It’s not nice to see that your father who always supports you, supports you this time too, even though it hurts his heart…”

Photo Pexels: foto/glimlachende-vrouw-die-rechtop-kijkt-tegen-gele-muur-1536619/pexels-juan-mendez-1536619.jpg – My English is not very good, so I’m translating this with the help of Google Translate and ChatGPT.